Beautiful

I’m waiting for someone to save me. I’m waiting for someone to heal the parts of me that seem broken, that I deem broken. I’m waiting. Sitting as if I am half empty in the waiting room. Tick toc. Tick toc. When is my appointment? Are they going to let me know when I am

Unraveling

I feel a swirl and twirl of so much right now. I am fighting the urge to stress and play make believe. I stuggle knowing the life I want is out there waiting for me and… I don’t know. I guess it’s a moment to let go. To really let it all fly and hang

2020 Is My Year?!

New Years Eve was a lovely event. I had champagne, I had cocktails, I had fans (literal and figurative), my neck was kissed, I strutted, I posed, I escaped a villain in the nick of time whilst being held in the strong arms of a suited man. Truly, I welcomed 2020 with open arms. It’s my year!

I woke up the next day with a string of questions: Why couldn’t I see? Was I dying? Why does water taste so bad? Where was I? Please help me. Am I actually dead?

2020 felt visceral.

I am a Star

My heart was beating in my ears. Like, I could feel my heart beat through the holes in my head. I could feel the excitement, no, the elation of the stage. The stage. The presentation, the glamour, the emotion, the holding of attention, the giving of everything I have to entertain, to make the audience

Macroons and Poop Donuts

I want to break free…. I want to breakkkk freeeeee!! What a line. Little Bijanca would have never thought four days from her 25th birthday she’d be dedicating those stirring lyrics to her life. What that means is this, kids. I want to break free from my life. I laughed out loud when I wrote

Questionable Definition

What can it mean that I am called upon to see the truth for what it is. At present moment I question my surroundings, not that of the grass but that of the illusion of the shadow as the one living Clouded is the judgement that excepts the concepts of what we are, defined only

There.

There In the fields of evergeeen And the Feelings of evermore Lived a young Soul and an old Soul. The young Soul scoured the land Lazily peering at the fruits, of man, And the momentary truthes of life to Feast on. Easy pickings — overripe tendrils, The experience never quite satisfied, set… The old soul

The Couch

“E-Sports is taking off,” said Mitchell. I find my boyfriend hysterical. I truly think the intricacies of his speech, walk and laughter are amazing. Every night (and more recently every day as I no longer have a job) we cuddle up together on the couch and I get to observe him. BUT. What the fuck